WEEK 4: 19/12 - 25/12

It's been a month since I started my project. And I feel disappointed and frustrated, mostly because of me.

Frankly speaking, I did not feel likeep writing this post at all. and I do not feel like it even now, when I have already started writing this post. As I said, nothing has changed. I still have not earned a single penny on shutterstock, I still have not developed my blog or completed at least one books chapter. I am not even sure what I have done within this month to come closer to my aim.

The only positive thing I cab find is that my images submitted to Shutterstock are reviewed within one day and not five, as it was before.

I have become interested in some spiritual stuff, such as visualisation and meditation and I plan to keep on researching this topic to write you more about it and my experience. Today, I have found a video on YouTube, where a beauty blogger tested branded gift boxes, such as those from LÓreal, Dior, or Sephora. And there was one gift box, where they were just samples of lipsticks and eye shadows and it cost about $200. And one subscriber said "Thanks god that it us you who bought that box and kept other women from wasting heir money and time on this useless thing." The same, I guess, can be said about all thine spiritual things. I come across different mind improving webinars and books and I usually doubt their usefulness. So, I decided to test some of them, those, which are advertised all over the internet. I can already assure you that most of them do not work, but I will do my best to find those, which work, complete them, and rovide you a summary of what has worked and what has not.

One of the reasons why I have not achieved anything, or even have achieved not as much as I wanted, I decided that it is all because I am not responsible before anyone. I am not required to make daily or weekly reports, it is only my own initiative. therefore, to be able to critically and objectively analyze what I have done, I would comokete daily reports. Even when I do not do anything; in this case, I will need to write an analysis in why it did not work out and why I far,ed that particular day. Weekly reports will still remain and I will write more like my feelings and thoughts rather than actual results. At the same time, I will try to write useful, posts for you, so it would be not only my dairy but some useful resource.

See you tomorrow,

XOXO,

Elf Elfen

WEEK 3: 12/11 - 18/12

Do you remember I told you once I always lacked enthusiams to complete something global? And you know what? I am already lacking it, even though it's just a third week of my year to change. Here, I see two solutions. First, I can find excuses why I did not get a step closer to achieving my goals and Second I can just pull up, analyze my mistakes and keep on getting my life better.

The last week was not the best in my life, mostly because I was ill. All that fever and cough made me a kind of disturbed from anything but my health and well-being. Besides, my hysband also got ill so we were trying to take care of each other and our cat. It was awful.

When I got better, I began drawing for stocks. Maybe because of dull weather we have here or because I draw on my tablet, I do not feel like using markers and sketchbook. They are a kind of abandoned :(
On the other hand, I have drawn two sets for St. Valentine's day. But! The problem is that now I have to edit all of that and upload to Shutterstock. Or Adobe Stock, I am still unsure about this one.

Other than that, I am on a crossroad with my job. Recently I have been approached by a client, with whom we had payment troubles (I had to literarly beg for payment) and offered me a cooperation. The payment is relatively high. And the task is not that difficult, it is my specialization, all in all. BUT. I am worried whether I would have the same payment issues again. I am still thinking of agreeing to cooperation with them, and it does bother me. I mean, I am not sure how to act right, what will be good for me. And the question here is not about money, I can earn them anytime, and I do earn enough for my family and myself. I am not in that urgent need for money. The issue here is about my well-being. I am trying to avoid stress to feel comfortable. I do not even argue with my husband, just because I do not want to cause inconveniences.

In summer, I completed a course, where a speaker told about self-ecology. It is not ebout environmental protection, it is about what makes you, your inner self, comfortable. It is essnetial to look at everything you do through this prism, through the prism of self-ecology, how your body and sould would feel, would not you feel exhausted and empty after it is all over? That is what I am trying to figure out these days before agreeing to the project.

Hopefully, I will make all the decisions on this one and report my involvement or non-involvement in the project the next week

XOXO,
ElfElfen

WEEK 2: 12/4 - 12/11

The second week passed not as I planned. I got ill, and this is one of the circumstances, which you cannot predict or plan, unfortunately. From Saturday, I started to feel ill and got even fever, which I don't remember having since my high school years. So, the results of the week are a kind of disappointing.
First, I uploaded about 7 mandalas to Shutterstock, which is quite a good result. From yesterday, when I got a little better, I decided to upload three works a day. Other than that, I do not feel like having and moderating my Facebook group/page. And I understand that it is normal. I mean, you do not necessarily need to adhere to ALL your set goals in case you do not feel like it. You do not own anyone. It takes too much time and efforts and I do not see any positive feedback. I do not want to do anything, which kills me slowly or depresses me. I strive to live a happy life, a life, where I am my own boss and where my job only brings me joy.
I almost completed the first drawing this week. Again, due to health issues, I did not feel good. I suppose, I will conduct my drawing journal here as well, so you could see my progress. The same goes for my digital drawings. Even though now they look more like child-drawn, I will complete this challenge and improve:)
Finally, I have decided that as for now I do not want to change my job, so, I need to improve in my field of work. I am planning to complete a couple of courses and read some books to make my results improve.
This week, I plan to keep up with what has been already achieved and achieve even more. Stay tuned!

XOXO,
Elf